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Self Development

While having a conversation with a colleague the other day, we started talking about emotional intelligence. He told me emotional intelligence is the act of making people feel good about themselves during the interaction you have with them. It got me thinking: how do I do that purposefully?

The Summer movie season has begun with a bang. Avengers: Endgame has become only the second film to gross over $800 million domestically. You are probably living under a rock if you haven’t heard of the Avengers, and maybe one of three people who haven’t yet seen the movie. I won’t be sharing any Endgame spoilers as I am one of the three people who hasn’t seen it, but I will share some insights about the Infinity Stones and how I see them relating to Sandler. With thanks to Sean Coyle for the idea and some material (yes, I borrowed it from him!), here we go…

Have you ever said, “I am an idiot” or something else derogatory about yourself? I know I have. However, it is more appropriate that I note on occasion, I can act like an idiot.

The Schneider family has been like a second family to me.I met Mark and Stephanie at church where we developed our friendship. I was present for the birth of both of their children, Linus and Muriel. I have babysat for the kids and I even have a key to their house. For some reason they have taken a liking to me and have embraced me as a member of their family.On the wall of their kitchen they have, as most families do, photos, drawings, report cards, and school notes that Linus and Muriel have brought home during the school year. 

One of the things Linus brought home recently caught my attention.

It was a document on Unhelpful Thinking Styles from Psychology Tools.

When we think of something unimaginable, we often associate the word with pain. Does the word always have to be viewed negatively? Can there be joy in the unimaginable? I believe there can be.

Do you judge your self-worth based on what others think of you or what you know about yourself?

Followers of my Pulse posts and social media accounts will know that I recently attended the Sandler Summit in Orlando, Florida. The theme of this year’s conference was Breakthrough 2018. It was an incredible two days of learning and self-awareness that left me with many ideas to ponder. Breakthrough 2018 was about asking and answering the hard questions that lead to major breakthroughs.


Thanksgiving is this Thursday and I am very thankful for my family, friends, colleagues, and clients. I owe the people in my community a debt of gratitude for the inspiration and motivation to grow that they have provided me with. I appreciate the good things in my life and I acknowledge those who have made me a better person. Being a better person is hard work and I am big enough to admit that I fail when the pressure of life becomes too much.

During the holiday season I am often reminded of one of my favorite memories. One year, Scott Miller, Pastor of Drayton Avenue Presbyterian Church, made this statement during his sermon, “My presence is your present.” Ever since then it has been Esther’s standard response to my question, “What are you getting me for Christmas?” Although the memory makes me smile, it also makes me think.

Do I practice the kind of personal presence that makes other people feel better about themselves? Am I paying attention to the things that make other people feel valued and appreciated? If not, why not?

A few months ago, I came across an article in The Wall Street Journal, titled “The Need to Read” by Will Schwalbe. The article touches on a passion of mine and highlights that while reading is an activity that has fallen out of fashion, it is one that we should be happy to participate in.

A few weeks ago, I had a talk with Matt Nettleson, a fellow Sandler colleague based in Indianapolis. During our conversation, we talked about the difference between being nice and being kind. I’ll admit that, until now, I did not realize the degree of difference between these two words.

Have you ever lost a deal because you weren't able to distinguish yourself from your competition?

Have you ever blamed someone or something for a mistake that you made?