In my continuing series on the Sandler Rules, let’s talk about Sandler rule number twenty-seven, “You can’t sell anybody anything – they must discover they want it.”
Growing up, you might remember when your mom or dad told you to eat your vegetables. And of course, you didn’t want to.
No matter what they said, such as “Vegetables help you grow taller” or “Plenty of kids don’t have anything to eat” you resisted and resisted and never ate your vegetables.
I suspect, if you were like me, it was the fact that you were told what to do that prompted the resistance.
Selling is like eating vegetables.
You can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do.
A typical salesperson will approach an interaction with the intention of convincing the prospect to buy.
Two things are important to note about that sentence.
1. The emphasis is on the salesperson, convincing the prospect to buy. Our job is to help the prospect discover for themselves their need to buy our products and services.
2. When being told that they should buy something, the prospect will revert to childhood actions, and resist doing whatever is being told to them. They will revert to an Adaptive ego state.
Let’s take a look at #2 more in-depth.
We, as people, are programmed to resist when people try to tell us what to do.
No matter how “right” you are about how your product or service can benefit the prospect or how many features, benefits, and advantages you can list, a prospect is going to resist until they discover it for themselves.
Viewing this through the lens of Transactional Analysis, my Critical Parent ego state is engaged with their Adaptive Child ego state. Since our ego states are not complimentary, communication can only break down.
But how do you get the prospect to discover that they want to buy from you?
I work hard to develop rapport, so the prospect likes and trusts me. I rely on good communication skills such as third-party stories to help them feel heard and understood. I get to the truth through good questioning tactics.
My job is to use my Nurturing Parent ego state to engage their Adult ego state. As I shift to my Adult ego state, our states are complimentary, allowing better communication.
If you learn anything through this post, I hope it’s this: Ultimately, the prospect has to discover for themselves that your product or service is beneficial. In that scenario, everyone wins: they get their problem solved and I get paid.
