During the holiday season I am often reminded of one of my favorite memories.
One year, Scott Miller, Pastor of Drayton Avenue Presbyterian Church, made this statement during his sermon, “My presence is your present.”
Ever since then it has been Esther’s standard response to my question, “What are you getting me for Christmas?”
Although the memory makes me smile, it also makes me think.
Do I practice the kind of personal presence that makes other people feel better about themselves? Am I paying attention to the things that make other people feel valued and appreciated? If not, why not?
Good personal presence is more than the charisma some people have that can turn heads and light up a room. It is not something you are born with or something you “just have.” It is a learned trait that I believe it comes down to three things: watching, making time, and giving.
Think about what you find yourself watching during a typical day.
• We watch the news in the morning while we watch our coffee brew,
• We watch the clock as we watch the traffic on the way to work, and
• We watch our phones while we watch our children’s choir performance.
But what are we really watching?
• Are we watching for that still small voice that centers us in the morning?
• Are we watching for the moments in the day that make it great?
• Are we watching for the gleam in our children’s eyes as the perform?
Paying attention allows us to watch for signs to connect with others, rather than just watching the day go by.
As we watch the world go by, sometimes we find ourselves wishing we had more time. Especially during the holidays, time becomes so much more precious that we often wish we could make time.
Do you want to know how?
Focus on the project instead of focusing on the time it takes to complete the project.
Want to get your Christmas shopping done? Buy and wrap one gift each day.
Want to send out Christmas cards before next year? Write, address, and mail three a day.
Want to talk to distant relatives? Call someone on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
Working your list allows us to be centered in the moment so we can make the time to be invested in others.
Investing in others does not have to be overwhelming. It can be as easy as giving a bit of yourself to someone.
In the movie “Scrooged,” Bill Murray’s character Frank Cross explains the true meaning of Christmas as the time when “we act a little nicer, smile a little easier, share a little more, and we become the people that we always hoped we would be.”
He goes on to say that it’s really a Christmas miracle and that you can make that miracle happen by giving a blanket to someone who is cold or by giving a sandwich to someone who is hungry. And if you make that miracle happen, he continues, you’ll want to have it happen again and again.
As I watch the movie, it reminds me that giving shifts our presence to others and away from us.
That’s a good feeling.
May the memories you make this holiday season be ones of your presence impacting the lives of others. May your presence in their lives be a present to them.
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