I have been on a tangent for the last couple months about rapport.
While watching a Sandler conference video on Sandler Online, I was struck by something Bill Bartlett, a Sandler trainer in Chicago, said. I am paraphrasing, but the gist of the message was that through bonding and rapport, you earn the right to ask the tough questions that cut through the clutter and get to the truth.
It made a huge impact on me and I constantly bring it up in my training classes.
People do business with people they like, trust, and respect; those things occur when you develop rapport with someone.
One of the best ways to start that process is to identify the person’s DiSC profile and use that knowledge to build rapport.
The DiSC profile is a tool used for the discussion of people’s behavioral differences. It is used to improve the participant’s awareness of how they communicate, make decisions, and process information based on their personality style.
The letters in the acronym stand for the four personality traits. They are:
• Dominance: A person who places emphasis on accomplishing results and getting to the bottom line. They are straight-forward, challenging, big picture people who can be blunt and aggressive.
• Influence: A person who places emphasis on persuading others and are motivating. They are optimistic and enthusiastic people who want to ensure that everyone is happy. They like being the center of attention.
• Steadiness: A person who places emphasis on cooperation, sincerity and dependability. They like harmony and a calm approach, and they react poorly to sudden changes in the plan. They are risk averse and therefore need time to make decisions.
• Conscientiousness: A person who places emphasis on quality, accuracy, expertise, and competency. They are independent, organized and systematic. They make slow decisions because they want to consider very angle and they don’t want to be wrong.
When I talk about DiSC I am often asked how to identify the person’s personality type. The answer lies in asking yourself two sets of questions about the other person.
• First: Is the person outgoing or reserved?
• Second: Is the person task or people oriented?
Outgoing and task-oriented people are Ds. Outgoing and people-oriented people are Is. Reserved and task-oriented people are Cs. Reserved and people-oriented people are Ss.
Two other ways to identify the other person’s personality style is by handshake and voicemail.
For the handshake test,
• A “D” tends to firmly grasp you hand and turn your palm up to assert control,
• An “i” will shake your hand and touch your elbow or shoulder,
• An “S” will give you that wimpy fishy handshake, and
• A “C” will be very uncomfortable to the point they don’t shake your hand at all.
To identify some by their voicemail message, pay attention to these situations.
• A “D” will not have their voicemail set up so that you cannot leave a message.
• An “i” is very enthusiastic in the message, typically ending the with “have a great day”.
• An “S” will start the message by apologizing for missing your call.
• A “C” will leave a detailed message with the times they are and aren’t available to talk.
There are many more ways to identify the personality style, but these three are my go-to’s.
Don’t get distraught if you struggle early to figure it out. It takes time to see the patterns in behaviors.
The goal is to use these tools to help the other person see you like them, creating the opportunity for them to like, trust, and respect you.
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